My Scandalous Affair with the Tanning Bed

Guys - I like tanning beds.  What can I say.  They help with depression, skin issues, anxiety, Vitamin D absorption - come on.  They're great.

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Transcript

Shannon Earley: 0:00

Hello friends, this is Shannon Earley, the hostess of the nesting with the early birds podcast. And I'm so glad that you're back. For all of you that have returned listeners, thank you so much. And if you're brand new, thank you so much for coming. This podcast is really just a time for me to encourage women. If you're a man, that's fine to check it out. Listen, I just wanted to remind everybody, you're not alone. And whatever experience you're going through, somebody out there is going through the same thing. And maybe listening to these stories or listening to these words of encouragement can just help you get through those things a little bit easier. I'm a Christian homeschooling mom of four children, two of which are on the autism spectrum, one of which has a rare genetic disorder. I'm also a hairstylist, guys, things are crazy over here, that I mentioned homeschooling, I don't even know because my mind is in 75 places at all times. But I've gotten a lot of tips from doing a lot of life. And I've actually even survived things like abuse, what in the world. So thank you so much for coming and checking it out. I really appreciate it. And remember to share this with other people that might be interested, and helped me to have this podcast grow. Thank you so much, guys. And remember, God totally loves you all the time. Well, hello, and welcome back to nesting with the early birds with your hostess Shannon Earley, that's me. So I'm coming at you live from native sun tanning spa. And this is actually nothing paid for by them. They have no idea that I'm doing this. But I just wanted to talk a little bit about tanning beds. I think that they've gotten a pretty bad rap. Not to mention, I'm an Italian and I grew up where my family went to the tanning bed on quite a regular basis. None of us have skin cancer, I get annual skin checks at my dermatologist. There's nothing weird looking. It's just a part of our life, that looking tan makes us look more ethnic, you know, it makes us look more like who we are and the way I want to represent myself. But not just that, let me just paint a little scenario. So imagine you're home with your children, and you're trying to clean the house. And you're sweating because you're vacuuming so hard. And your kids all of a sudden spill milk all over the carpet. But you told them they weren't allowed to have any milk in the room where the carpet is because why would you allow milk in a room with the carpet. And as you're cleaning that up, one of your other children has a poop in their diaper. But the poop goes out the back of the diaper and down the thighs quite a bit. And as you're changing that your two older kids start fighting over a toy that makes no sense that they would have any fighting for because both of them have never in their life ever once cared for this toy ever. And your sweet husband, who is working from home is enjoying a nice little break, exercising and using dumbbells in his office by himself. And so now you start feeling really frustrated. And you think if I really clean this house hard, everybody will notice me. So you pull down laundry and as you bring down the bucket of laundry, you fall down the stairs a little bit. And then you go to put the laundry in the laundry in the washing machine and you realize you hadn't actually changed that load, maybe in two or three days. So now that loads musty, so you have to restart that load. But oh, somebody got into the laundry detergent. It looks like they were playing with it when they should have never again, even been in the laundry room. And they surely were not helping with doing your chores. And as you then go into the bathroom to wash your hands. You see chocolate smeared all over the bathroom sink. Also the handle the faucet, and there's many many cups in there from when your children were playing baby doll bath time. You see the floor is wet, even though it is black tile and extremely slippery and dangerous, dangerous and you look behind you and realize not only is there no toilet paper anymore, but somebody has taken the role the actual bar that the toilet paper rests on out of the bathroom. So now all that is there is the toilet paper holder with no bar to hold the toilet paper. And the boys in your family have peed all over that seat like it was their number one priority. Of course they didn't, you know try and a cleaner or anything like that. And as you're cleaning all of that crumb and crust off of the toilet with a wet wipe, you think to yourself, I'm feeling pretty stressed. I don't know. I don't know what's gonna set it off. But there is something that is gonna set some stuff off pretty quick. Like I'm about to lose my stuff. And so, as you walk out, your husband says, Hey, didn't you get a tanning bed certificate for Christmas? Why don't You want to go do that? And you think to yourself inside, you're like, yes, yes. Praise God. Yes. But then all of a sudden, there's this other part of you, that's all guilty. That's like, No, you cannot leave your family will miss you way too much. How could they possibly function without you around? Clearly they need your help. And they will all go to pieces when you leave. And the other part of you says, but it's just a 10 minute tan. And the other part says, but you have to get undressed and dressed at the tanning bed, and you must drive there and drive back. That could be a whole 25 minutes away, surely you do not deserve 25 minutes away to yourself. Look at this, you are a mother and a wife. This is what you have signed up for. But then your husband gives you a big hug and a kiss and says Get out, I'll see you as soon as you're driving, slowly, the guilt starts to dissipate, and you pull up to the tanning section. And you get excited. And you think I'm gonna go like, take a break. And you walk in there. And it smells like coconut and the beach and oils and lotion. And you see all these pictures of sun and sunshine. And the people there are bronze and cheery. And you're like, this is exactly where I'm supposed to be here and check in. And they tell you, oh, this certificate is actually for the magic bed, this is the best bed that we have. There's four levels of bed, you're basically level five, there is nothing better than what you have. And by the way, because of your skin tone. And this bed style, there is not one possible way that you could possibly burn all of these bulbs, or only bronzer bulbs, it might get a little hot in there. But otherwise enjoy your time. And you go in excited. And you see this machine that looks like a spaceship. And I am very very, very familiar with tanning beds, I grew up with them when I was 15, I had a monthly membership with my mom. And my husband is so white and pale that if he opens up the fridge, he burns like the lights in the fridge will burn his skin. He is soap. And I go in and it's clean and sleek and the lights are off. And there's these beautiful blue LED lights. And you're like I am home. And you close the door and you lock it and you take a breath and then you start unrolling yourself as it were and you're undressing and you think should I keep a little bit on just so I can see how much tan I've gotten from today. And then you say No way, Shannon take it all off. And you lay in there. And at first the bed hard plastic feels cold against your skin. But you hit the button and the lid of the machine starts to close. And the lights Tinker on, the fans start to blow. And it is like a warm, hot, wind blowing day at the beach where you're laying on the sand. And if there were no wind, it would be way too hot. But it's one of those days where you're at the beach. And because of the amount of wind and everything, you could lay out for hours. And you're just laying there and at first you're thinking I keep hearing all these creaking sounds, this is scary, I might die. And then you start thinking, I can't believe I'm here. I hope Ivan doesn't get upset, I hope my husband doesn't get upset. And then around the seven minute mark, you start actually thinking about nothing. As in, nothing stressful. You're not thinking about bills or chores. You're thinking about all the different times that you've been in the hot sun, you're thinking about all the times you were in a tanning bed as a kid, you're thinking about places of warmth and comfort and relaxation. And you start to slowly doze off. Before you know it, you're almost asleep, you're at that point where your eyes are shut and you are just so relaxed. All you're focusing on is that sound of the fan that white noise sound and then click the thing turns off, the light shut down. It's immediately dark in the room and the bed panel starts going up. The bed panel does a little click sound. And then that is when you know that your vacation is officially over. It's time for you to open up your eyes. Think to yourself, me and I was really, really comfortable. I could still just lay here for a while and you realize oh snap. There's probably some other women that are waiting for their turn for a little piece of paradise. So you climb out you get dressed and you just kind of feel out of yourself. It feels really strange almost like you're waking up from a little dream a little nap. You put on your clothes and you think man, I'm really hot. I don't really want to put on all these clothes. But you put them on anyways. You say goodbye to the person. And when you go outside the cold hits you bam. And you realize, dang girl, it's still wintered. I totally forgot. And you almost imagine like some sort of heat smoke vapor rising from your body as you climb into the car because you can just feel the heat sort of mixing in with the cold and battling for you. And as you drive home, you just feel thankful. You're just so thankful you got to go, your mind feels clear. You're so thankful to your husband and your family for just giving you that completely selfish time. You're so thankful that not only that it was a time that you got to absorb some much needed vitamin D. Did you know that one of like the best possible things to ward off depression,

Unknown: 10:39

and

Shannon Earley: 10:39

the Coronavirus is vitamin D. And do you want to know the best way to get vitamin D? It is better access to your chest? How many women are having bear access of sunlight onto their chest? during the winter? I mean honestly, during any time. I guess in the summer we were bikinis or maybe you wear bikinis. I don't I wear some sort of like one piece that sucks it all in like a tube. But you get my point. Vitamin D is good for us girls. And for those of you that are saying hey Shannon, wait a minute, heading buds are bad. They can cause cancer. Yeah, they actually can. Let's put it this way. Chocolate delicious, super delicious. You could get organic cocoa powder, whatever creamed and Willy Wonka's, you know, waterfall machine, but if you eat too much of it, you're gonna get fat guys, let's be real. You don't want so much of a good thing. You know what I'm saying? But especially if you do actually have a family history of skin cancer, that kind of thing. Like, my dad is Irish and white, white town Brown, and he has red hair, and he's sprinkled all over his body. He burns pretty easily and then it turns into this big brown, tan, and he has had skin cancer. So I sort of do have some of that in my bloodline, you know, but if you are that kind of family member, that person that has paler skin or skin that doesn't actually tan in the sun then know the magic level tanning bed I'm talking about? Well, actually, that one is good for you. But any of the other ones might be a little tricky. But did you know they actually have a new tanning bed out and it's called a red light therapy bed? Yeah, guys. And guess what red light is for boosting your skin's production of collagen, elastin? All those things that make your skin look useful. Oh, what else? is it used for acne? Literally used for acne? Oh, what about depression you up because you're getting some of that sun guys. And it has nothing to do with the team at all. You won't have any sort of tanning results from going to a red light therapy bed whatsoever. But your skin will improve. So

Unknown: 12:54

yeah,

Shannon Earley: 12:55

I guess I if we were in a debate, what I would have to say is I am a gajillion percent protein in bed used in the right situations, obviously. But for somebody that suffers through seasonal depression and annual depression and just overwhelmed from motherhood, a tanning bed is one of my sanctuaries. It is one of the places I can just totally unwind. I can connect to myself, because I don't know about you guys, anybody that's really busy. But you have so many thoughts going in your mind about so many other people and so many other things you need to do and things you need to do for those other people that you start to lose even your own. I don't even know like your desires like hey, what kind of drink Do you like, you're like, I don't know, my husband likes this and my children like, I don't know. And you go to the tanning bed and for a split second year yourself and you think about dreams for yourself. You think about your future. And it is just a wonderful, wonderful thing. If you guys have an opportunity to invest in a good quality tanning bed place near you a good tanning salon, you you totally should check the reviews. A good one will have something where they sanitize before you go in and after. They'll even have things will they'll have clean towels for you to wipe down the bed yourself before or after. There's some good repeatable selections out there and you can definitely tell the difference between something that looks a little sketchy and something that looks like it's beautifully run and beautifully kept. Another thing associates you've got a nice person that's working there, guys, it's probably going to be a good deal. You have a lady with a leather face. That is pretty grouchy and could give zero hoots about you. I don't know if I'd go there. So anyways, thank you for tuning into whichever episode this is. I hope that you enjoyed listening and maybe escaping with me to your own little personal vaycay enjoy the winter Enjoy the sun and I will talk to you guys next time. Remember God totally loves you all the time.